You Failed Me But That Is Okay For I Am Stronger Now.
by Niki Wyre
You failed me but that is okay for I am stronger now… those were those first words in my journal this past week. It’s been an emotional and transformative week.
You see, this past week I have been journaling and blogging my heart out in a way I never thought possible. I have been writing letters to those who have failed or trespassed against me and forgiving them in order to unburden myself from the weight I have carried alone. From the doctors who failed to listen to a partner that broke me down over years of emotional / mental abuse to a parent that sexually abused me. After each entry finished, I felt my heart getting lighter and I felt stronger. I lived through all that, and I am still here.
For every patient that heard, some people are just more tired… some women gain more weight… maybe you are depressed… you just need to lose some weight… if you were just more positive… The tests all look fine… To the victim that were told you were asking for it… if only you didn’t wear that.. it’s all your fault.. if only you didn’t.. just forget about it… To the person reading this: You are worthwhile. You are unique. You have something to offer to this world. It’s okay to move on and forgive those that have failed you but you don’t have to let them back in. Remember you survived everything that happened before today. I did.
I am not sure when or if I will be ready to share some of these entries in the near future. I do know talking about them and opening the discussion to my loved ones was a big step in the healing process.
Have you written letters just for yourself to those that have hurt you or let you down? Does journaling help you?
Until next time.
<3 Niki Wyre
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